Cheers to 32 Years

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my freakin' awesome parents!! August 4th will be their 32nd wedding anniversary! Holy Moley- what a high bar they have set! After so many years together, it's still so clear and obvious that they LOVE each other. Their relationship gives me hope that one day I'll have one just as strong and lasting, because they've been such a solid example of what marriage is and should be. And as much guff as I get for being anti-online dating, it's their fault!! They have an adorable love story and I want one, too!

My Dad is a retired police officer. While I was growing up, every few years his work schedule changed- from working days, to afternoons/nights, to overnights, and finally to a semi- normal schedule a few years ago before he retired. No matter his schedule, or when he was able to be home for dinner (or breakfast), my Mom had a hot and delicious home cooked meal ready for him. Sometimes he'd come home, eat in uniform with his radio still on in case he was needed, then give us hugs and kisses and go back to work. When he worked overnight, he'd usually get home as we were getting ready to leave for school- and often he'd be holding a box of Krispy Kremes for us. (I always begged him not to feed the stereotype- but those donuts were delightful on the way out the door...) I've even had the chance to work with my dad a few times- in fourth grade I'd go to the courthouse after school to alphabetize warrants for him- he even had a name plaque made for me to hang on his cubicle while I was working. I still have it! Many years later, the summer before I moved to Chicago, I worked with him again. Well, in the same building, anyway. I worked in the courthouse cafe and at the coffee cart, and it was awesome to be able to sit and eat lunch with my dad once in awhile. My Dad is a stellar husband and father. I see the way he respects and loves my Mom, and it really sets the bar pretty high for any man in my life. I know how I deserve to be treated because of how my Dad has treated his three girls.

My dad always took his job seriously, but still made time for his kids. We had family vacations, roadtrips, and went camping a lot. Even our failed vacations have left happy memories- one summer we were going to drive to...Virginia..I think? Well, our car was having trouble pulling our camper- we broke down several times and finally called it quits in Ohio and just decided to camp there for a few days and head home. The campground was flat, covered in gravel, and boring. The nearest attraction was Amish Country. My parents did the best they could to make our failed vacation fun- "Look! The Amish make their own noodles!" The most exciting part of that trip was guilting my dad into buying me a beautiful afghan, covered in butterflies. I basically asserted that this was one of the worst weeks of my life, I promise to love this afghan forever, please just buy it and I won't beg the Amish to take me in to get away. He bought it, and I still have it on my bed- ten years later! One of my favorite memories is when my sister and I were very young- small enough to both fit on his lap, one on each leg, we'd sit in our high-backed yellow chair and he'd read to us. A lot of times it was books from the American Girl series, bless his heart. My parents have always supported my passions and choices. For as long as I can remember I've loved performing- my parents put me in drama courses, musical theater workshops, and community plays. My high school was very small and didn't offer any theater programs- so I channelled my love of performing into Cheerleading. Cheering ignited a love for athletics, so I joined Volleyball and did a VERY brief stint on the Softball team. My parents went to more volleyball and basketball games to see me cheer than I can count. Once, they surprised me at an away volleyball tournament that they happened to be camping nearby- they paused their vacation to watch me play!! My mom even travelled to Tennessee with our cheerleading squad so we could cheer for our boys at Nationals! She endured the fifteen hour bus ride each way, sleeping in a shabby cabin and a flimsy bunk bed, sleeping in the same room as a squad of hyper, over-caffeinated, squealing, laughing, screaming, bouncing teenage girls, and worst of all- cafeteria food!! Thank you, Mommy.

My Mom is a retired psychiatric nurse. I'm only semi-joking when I say working with kids and young adults with severe behavior/psych problems was excellent training for being my Mom. I, like many teenagers, when through a terrible "I hate my parents" phase. I broke rules, I lied, I talked back, I was so disrespectful. And I'm so sorry that I was ever such a pain in the ass. I will always feel guilt for the things I've said to my Mom when I was angry that made her cry. She didn't deserve any of my bad attitude and anger. If I heard my nieces talking to my Mama the way I did, I think my head would explode. I would definitely have to be restrained (which, with my Mom's professional background, she could do! See, it all connects). I know most teenagers go through that phase- but I really wish I could go back and bitch-slap my thirteen-year-old self. My Mom actually cut back her working hours to be at home more- to be there when my sister and I got home from school, to cook us dinner and be there for us when we needed her- and I didn't appreciate it in the least. I have no idea why I aimed my anger mostly at my Mom- she didn't deserve it. For all the effort she went through to take care of her family and go above and beyond to be such a fantastic Wife and Mother, I am so ashamed that I didn't thank her every single day. One thing that helped me snap out of it was when I was about 14, she had a brush with cancer. I realized that my Mama wasn't going to be around forever, and I could lose her. This wonderful, selfless, loving Mother could be gone tomorrow. Now, I'm so happy to call my Mama my friend. I'm so proud to be like her! She's so caring, she's the best cook I know, and she gets joy from making others happy. I hope that I'm half the Wife and Mother my Mama is. She has three grown kids but she'll still cook us dinner, snuggle on the couch, and in my case, still chase me through the house because I scare easily and will go screaming and running at top speed. Whenever we see each other there's usually fits of giggles and one- or both- of us has to rush to the bathroom to avoid peeing our pants. We're also both discovering a new culinary world- Vegan Cooking- and instead of me always calling her to ask kitchen questions- like I have frequently since I've moved out- she calls me for tips sometimes! It's fun to be learning together, but in our own kitchens. We share discoveries, failures, and especially victories! (A few of my favorite victories so far: Mexican Hot Chocolate Cupcakes, Cashew Leek Burgers, and Green Monsters!)

Now, speaking of food, I bet you're curious about that adorable love story. I wanted the story to be told accurately, so I asked my mom to tell me her version:

"I worked at a residential facility, usually directly with the clients, but was filling in for a dispatcher for two weeks on the night shift. I loved cooking and enjoyed my co-workers, so one night I brought in homemade lasagna, salad and spumoni. Frequently employees from the Sheriff's Dept. stopped in for coffee and a visit with the head of security. He apparently told them I was bringing plenty of food and that they should plan on eating. That night the Sergeant on duty brought in a rookie that was being trained on night shift. He came in all perfectly uniformed, hat on straight...most polite gentleman I'd ever met. I believed he enjoyed his meal and when he left I thought, "What a nice guy..."  Later my temporary boss, the security director, grilled me about what I thought. He said he thought I should go out with him and I told him I was not available. He said, basically, 'you will be soon, you know that.'  I forgot about the whole thing. Several months later I must have been filling in again, and wouldn't you know.... thanks to a series of unfortunate events, I happened to be available. Tom called and asked if I might be interested in going out for dinner after work one morning. Just for a dinner, I thought...I could do that.   We set the date. On the morning of the date, (around 4:30 in the morning) I got a call from Tom, chatting for a few minutes he asked if we were still on...I said Yes, looking forward to it!  Much later I learned that he was hoping to reschedule until he heard I was looking forward to it. Apparently he had forgotten that it was his "day" off. So, he was calling from home, not work when he called at 4:30am. I thought it was funny considering it was April Fool's day.  But after being married for this long, knowing how he really values his sleep, I so appreciated his extra effort. I knew that it meant something to him to take me out for dinner when he didn't even want to leave his bed, much less eat!"

See? I told you it was adorable. My Mom gave me that lasagna recipe...and I'm going to veganize it and serve it to any prospective husbands. :)

Thank you so much, Mom and Dad, for everything you've done for our family. I love you so much, and truly appreciate you!! Your love, support, understanding and encouragement has made me the person I am. My self esteem came from your praise and belief in me. Because of how you raised me, I'm confident and independent. Thank you for not letting me quit Calculus even when I cried. Thank you for not letting me quit Band, even when I cried. Thank you for paying three arms and four legs for me to go to private school. Thank you for making it possible for me to move to Chicago and go to art school. Thank you for coming to my very first 5k race. Thank you for supporting me, even if you didn't quite understand, when I became a vegetarian!

I can never thank you enough for the countless things you've done, said, and taught me. I love you!!