If it was humanly possible, I would most definitely end my search for a man and just marry the glorious month of October.
October has always been there for me. October is pleasing to all of my senses. The mere mention of hayrides and apple cider makes my stomach flip flop- every time. You know that irrational giddiness you experience when you're head over heels in love with someone and every touch sends tingles down your spine and every kiss gives you butterflies in your tummy ?? That is the spell that October has over me. I love you, October, and I don't care who knows it!! For thirty-one days a year, I am embraced- nay, cuddled by the best month the calendar has to offer.
You can make an argument for July- fireworks! Picnics! Beaches! What about December? Christmas! New Year's Eve! Or November- Thanksgiving!! (And my birthday month!) I understand how great fireworks are, and counting down the new year is always a hoot- but nothing holds a candle to pumpkins (though placing one inside a pumpkin is delightful fun), Halloween, apple cider and a pile of leaves.
Let's not neglect the joy of spending 6 weeks (I start in September) of choosing a costume and taking about eighteen trips to various stores to assemble the perfect outfit, piece by piece, usually completing the ensemble just hours before its debut. Granted, last year I only had one job so taking multiple trips to Halloween stores, Walgreens, Target, Michaels, Beatnix, Crossroads, Buffalo Exchange, Hollywood Mirror and Ragstock was a lot more convenient. This year, I'm working about 52 hours a week and am training for a 15k race, so my free time is scarce and usually spent cooking or sleeping.
Luckily, October understands my busy schedule and led me to the perfect store (Beatnix at Roscoe and Halsted) at the perfect time (the day after payday) and I was in just the right mood (buzzed). The stars aligned, the clearance signs were aglow, and my costume came together in its entirety in about twelve minutes and cost an impressive $35 for a dress, tights, underoos, a flower for my hair, and feather earrings. Some folks like to keep their costume a secret until the witching hour is upon us- I am not some folks. I will gladly announce my costume as soon as I've settled on one. But first, let's go back to the night at Beatnix. I found one of those tight, short, slutty dresses for girls with no imagination who go every year as A Sexy ____(Nurse, Teacher, Cat, Witch, Infant..whatever). It has a yellow and white checkered bodice with puffy lil sleeves and a teeny tiny skirt that barely contains what my mama gave me. I already have a long blond wig at home from when I was Sailor Moon a few years ago, so I thought- Goldie Locks! And what the hey- I've never done the typical "Sexy Whatever" costume, I'm 25 and single so now's the time to show it off.
However- the next morning I woke up and slightly regretted my wine-fueled purchase. Sexy Goldie Locks is boring!!! I climbed up the shelves in my closet to get down my boxes labeled "Wigs and Stage Makeup" and "Costumes and Boas" to see what I could come up with. As soon as I saw the bottles of mint flavored blood and liquid latex, I had it.
To be completely honest, I don't remember how "Goldie Locks and the Three Bears" actually ends. The bears come home to find that someone's been sitting in their chairs, eating their porridge, and the bitch is STILL sleeping in Baby Bears bed. Then..uhhh...that's where my mind goes blank. (I'm going to Google it as soon as I'm done writing this post...) For my Halloween costume I'm taking the Grimm approach and assuming Goldie Locks never made it out of that den. Papa Bear is pissed and some thieving chick won't live long enough to digest the porridge that she has pilfered! And so I shall be...Mauled Goldie Locks. Here's hoping my gore makeup skills are still up to par and I can still make convincingly greusome claw marks across my neck and chest.
Time for some trial run claw gashes...
Happy October! Now, go have some cider!!!
